Growing Up Is Getting Old…

This was 28.

28 was a year full of defining moments. A year that I would describe as one of refinement and shaping in my personal life, and a year in which I am learning to give myself grace through both the good and the hard.

At the start of 28, I was facing a lot in my personal life. My friend Taylor had just passed away, two family friends had passed away, I broke my foot on a hike, and more. Life was just life-ing, as I like to call it.

I prayed at the start of 28 for the year ahead. I prayed for a year of refining. I prayed that God would remove things that weren’t good for me and add or grow the things that were. Lo and behold, that is a very dangerous prayer to pray. God removed quite a bit over the course of 28, and I had to learn that it was okay. I am learning to trust that God has good plans and that if something is not good yet, God is not done with it. He is still working and still making things good.

28 was a lonely year for me. Maybe it was losing my close friend Taylor. Maybe it is simply getting older. I probably will never know the answer. What I can tell you is that being in your late twenties and being a single guy is not a bad thing, but it just feels different when you watch a lot of other people settle down into their life with new homes, families, etc. You start to feel behind. You feel lonelier than you ever expected because suddenly you are one of the few single people left in your friend circles, and life naturally pulls people in different directions. It’s not that I need the validation of having someone else, but sometimes it feels like you get forgotten when you are “the odd man out”. Maybe that is just my perspective from the outside looking in, but that is how it felt some days.

At 28, I also lost a couple of friendships. Do I really know why? No, I don’t. Even today, I still find myself bothered by those losses. If you know me well, you know I am the type of person who wants to hold on to people for as long as possible without growing apart.

This year, I also started stepping up for myself health wise. It has been quite the unexpected journey, and I can guarantee you that I never thought I would find myself in an indoor spin class. Yet here we are. I genuinely love it and being apart of the CycleBar community. I love all the instructors I ride with, and some of those friendships that have developed from those classes. More importantly, I have loved getting my health into a better place. It feels like one of those things that happened at 28, I’m grateful for and I hope it continues for a long while to come.

Health is something I have really tried to take more seriously over the past year. My health has had moments of concern, whether it’s been related to my heart health, my mental health, etc. It’s been something that I am realizing that I cannot take my health for granted. Health truly is wealth in life.

Between CycleBar and the perspective that Taylor’s life gave me, everything has become an “I get to” mindset. Sure, there are days when I do not want to work out. Some days I would much rather take a nap or sit and watch TV. But I get to choose my hard. I get to move my body because I am alive and I have that gift today. I do not want to waste it.

As for my career this past year, it was an incredible blessing. A few years ago, I was working for another company at the time. I have a journal entry from a previous birthday where I wrote about my goals to leave that job and move on to something else. I found myself in such a dark headspace in toward the end of my tenure in my old position. Over the course of that year of life, it was hard, but I was able to find the position where I am today.

Over the past year at my job, I received a promotion to the title of “Senior Manager, Digital and Programmatic” and it has really allowed a lot of blessings to develop deeper skills and develop myself stronger professionally. My hope is that those skills continue to open doors and help me grow for many years to come.

I know some of you may be reading this and wondering about the title, Growing Up Is Getting Old. Totally a fair question. The reason is that there is an artist I absolutely adore named Ashley Cooke. Over the past year, she released a song with the same title. It’s been one I’ve had on repeat since it came out. Some of the lyrics says:

“They say growing up is fun, where’s the fun in that? Growing up is getting old, it’s weighing down on my shoulders. Growing up takes a toll, tell me when the hard part is over. One minute you’re a kid just wishing you could fly right down life’s road. But the years roll and before you know, growing up is getting old.”

There is something about those lyrics that resonates with me. It is not that I am ungrateful for another birthday. Quite the opposite. I am extremely grateful for turning 29. I am grateful to be alive another year.

When you experience something like losing a friend as young as Taylor was, you learn very quickly that growing older is a gift and that tomorrow is never promised.

Birthdays have simply become more reflective for me. Life has been hard. Life has also been good. The older I get, the more I realize both of those things can be true at the same time.

Life is never guaranteed to be easy, but we can choose how we spend the time we are given. We can love people well. We can show up. We can make memories. We can choose gratitude even when life does not look the way we thought it would.

As I head into 29, that is my prayer. I want to love people well. I want to love my friends well. I want to love my family well. I want to love the people who have chosen to walk through life alongside me by some sort of our paths crossing along the way.

Life is short. I know that I am getting older. The past few years have been filled with lessons, growth, grief, and unexpected blessings. Along the way, I lost people I love who have passed and friendships grew apart. I gained perspective and I learned lessons that I was not ready for fully at the time. And yet, there’s been meeting new people, new friends, new opportunities, and new reasons to be grateful everyday.

It will never be the same without the people who are gone.

But that’s okay.

Because if 28 taught me anything, it’s that growing older isn’t just about losing things. It’s about learning what matters most while you still have the chance to hold it close.

The song says, “One minute you’re a kid just wishing you could fly right down life’s road, but the years roll and before you know, growing up is getting old.”

The years have rolled by faster than I ever imagined (especially since COVID shutdown). Growing up is getting old, but after losing a friend who never got the chance to grow old, I see those words differently now.

Growing older is a privilege. Life is a gift every single day.

Here’s to 29.